What is a check-in?

Check-in is a way of starting conversations, a ritual way of talking about the things that are happening in our lives. Some people use it to begin and/or end meetings, but we hold check-in all on its own. It is a simple way to deepen conversation, and it is also very powerful. There is something truly and deeply organic and systemic about allowing our collective to hear itself in real time.

There are two parts to Check-in: what you see and what you don't see.

Here's what you see:

People sit in a circle. Each person speaks uninterrupted until they feel finished. Usually people say whatever they need to get started: it might be about what happened to them earlier in the day, or some issue that is on their mind, or what they're feeling right in that moment. It doesn't matter. You can't do it wrong, and you can't do it right - whatever is said is okay.

Sometimes people signal that they're finished speaking by saying something - some of us like to say "Period." and/or by passing an object to the person next to them in the circle. The object gives a physical reminder for our attention and focus, and despite the fact that it may seem silly to some, check-in seems to go better when an object is passed.

The check-in goes around the circle in order. Of course, you can always pass if you don't feel like speaking in that turn. The check-in continues around and around the circle until everyone feels finished. We've often observed that many people seem to spiral deeper and deeper into their feelings as we go around the circle again.

Here's what you don't see:

The quality of people's listening. Check-in allows us to listen to ecah other without judgment, to witness each person's state of mind. Because there are no interruptions, we are released from the need to think about how we want to respond to whoever is speaking, and we can just hear it. The more we hold a space where nonjudgmental listening can occur, the better the check-in.

It's important to not use your listening time to mentally organize and rehearse what you're going to say when it is your turn, for a couple of reasons. First of all, your experience of hearing the other people speaking is enhanced, which validates and supports them as well as strengthens your relationship with them. Secondly, you will be able to speak more spontaneously, and therefore more authentically, about your feelings.

Some people feel a bit uncomfortable initially when doing check-in. That's okay. The discomfort usually dissolves very quickly, especially if you talk about your discomfort during your check-in.